I've been meaning to write commentary on this so many times. I would hop on YouTube and search for something about extroverts (trying to learn more about how to be more like, well, me), and then end up being bombarded with video titles like, "9 Things Introverts Do Better Than Extroverts" and "10 Extrovert Behaviors that Introverts Hate," along with, weirdly, another X-Things-X-Do-Better-Than-X video titled "10 Things Introverts Do Better Than Extroverts.”

Really? Like one more than the other one?

Then the same thing would happen every time. I would think, "Wow, that's not true! And hey, neither is that!" and proceed to hit the comment button underneath the offending video and start typing.

But I always had too much to say! I felt so frustrated, but I also felt afraid that if I even dared to share an alternative opinion, when so many commenters were often praising the video (and most of them appeared to be self-acclaimed introverts), I would evoke the wrath of thousands of online presences and they would cancel me into oblivion.

Plus, what was the point in arguing with people online?

So I got smart and decided to take my very long comment and publish it on my own personal blog for people to read.

I have checked my long-winded comment below (I originally wrote it for a Psych2Go video, I'm pretty sure it was the one from the screenshot above), and currently, as I'm writing out this article, it actually does fit the word count of a YouTube comment! 

So, without further ado, here is the comment I never wrote.
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Introverts and extroverts can be good listeners. Or terrible listeners, they can be that too. I know introverts who will talk your head off any time they get the chance. You're not automatically better at listening, just because you're an introvert. You just have a different preference for where you draw your energy from. That's it. The only reason introspection might come easier to an introvert is because introverts get energy from going inward.

As for the social bias... I disagree that the bias is against introverts, especially post 2020. Things are very different now. I honestly would like to argue that there are no biases at all, for introverts or extroverts. Also, treating introversion and extroversion like it's Us vs. Them, and then championing for the team you think currently experiences the most injustice with T-shirts and memes and bumper stickers and posts on social media, creates problems instead of solving them. Unjust and unkind treatment of any person, on either imagined side, is wrong.

If we're going to talk about biases, realistically, everyone gets stereotyped and misunderstood. Everyone.

I've seen introverted people being called "too quiet," or people showing backhanded approval when a quiet person tries to be more outgoing. I've also seen people showing backhanded approval for those who quiet down, calling it maturity, and that very few people say they're an extrovert out loud anymore, usually going for the term "ambivert" instead, or saying they have ADHD. Maybe that's because nowadays, if you say you're an extrovert, you get branded as annoying, loud, and unable to be without people?

I'm an extrovert, by the way. I've gotten called annoying before, and too loud. Sometimes people resort to insulting others and putting them down instead of resolving their own problems. It doesn't matter what characteristics you have—white/black, introverted/extroverted, tall/short, male/female--people will find something they don't like for some reason, and then make up an insult for it. 

Ultimately, that's their problem, not yours. The only way that becomes your problem is if you believe that there's actually something wrong with what you look like, where you come from, or how you show up in the world. At the time, when people called me annoying and loud, I did believe there was something wrong with me, and so I toned myself down to please others. But now I am starting to come back out of the shell I retreated into, and that feels great.

People will insult you for being different, and they'll insult you for fitting in with the current norm, which changes constantly, so just be yourself and you're bound to have your day in the sun.

The internet doesn't really talk about extroverts much (from a realistic standpoint), but uh... if you search for info about us, we apparently talk too much, want to adopt all you introverts, and are considered stupid for some reason. 

If anything, my introverted friends keep adopting me... and yes I talk, a lot, but I'm a good listener too. I'm happy to take turns any time. Go right ahead and write your own paragraph comment for me to read, I dare you. And as for being stupid... that's just an empty insult. It's not kind to say and isn't true about anyone. So don't say it.
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There it is. Cancel away. Oh wait! You're on my own personal blog, so that's difficult to do... well good. Maybe we can be friends instead.

So yeah, that's the real truth—to those whom I share extroversion in common with, you're not a bad listener just because you're extroverted. We all have things to work on, and we can all grow and improve. And to those nameless people on the internet who are feeling injured and unfairly biased against—putting others down won't bring you higher. Extroverts and introverts, we’re not that different! We're all members of the human race, aren't we? Let's build each other up instead!

Attacking extroverts and telling them to sit down and shut up, after they attacked you by telling you to stand up and start talking, will only breed more contention. Why don't we come from a place of "We have some differences, yes—that's because we're unique individuals, and that's awesome!" and then look at the fact that we also have many similarities too! We all have a desire to love and be loved, and to be accepted for who we truly are. We all desire to be understood and seen and valued, and we are all infinitely valuable. Let's find ways to be united instead of divided.

Tags: AllExtroverts, AllPosts